Terms of Service

What this is

Les Morts (also known as Flatlined) is a service that monitors public figures and notifies you when they die. That’s it. We don’t editorialize, eulogize, or celebrate. We watch. You live your life. When something happens, we tell you.

The transaction

You pay $1 per person, per watch. In exchange, we notify you when that person dies — by email, or by SMS if you provided a phone number. One dollar. One notification. That’s the whole deal.

Refunds. There are none. The $1 is non-refundable, obviously. You’re not paying for a guarantee that the person will die during your subscription — you’re paying for us to watch. We watch regardless of outcome. The universe handles the rest.

What we do

• —Monitor public records and Wikipedia for deaths of public figures on your watchlist.
• —Check public obituary records weekly for private individuals you’ve added.
• —Send you a notification when a death is confirmed via a reliable public source.
• —Try very hard not to be weird about it.

What we don’t do

• —Guarantee timing. Public figures: checked hourly. Private individuals: checked weekly. Breaking news moves faster than we do sometimes.
• —Guarantee accuracy. We rely on public obituary sources. We’ll do our best. We’re not a legal record.
• —Sell your data. We have no interest in your email beyond sending you death notifications. That sentence sounds worse than it is.
• —Promise the service will run forever. We’ll do our best. If we shut down, we’ll let you know.

Private individuals

We offer monitoring of private individuals (people not on Wikipedia) using publicly available obituary records. By using this feature, you confirm that:

• —You have a legitimate personal reason to be notified (e.g., family, old friend, creditor).
• —You will not use this service to locate, stalk, harass, or monitor anyone for unlawful purposes.
• —You understand this is not a consumer report. Les Morts is not a consumer reporting agency under the FCRA, and this service may not be used for employment, credit, housing, or insurance decisions.
• —Checks are weekly, coverage is US and UK only, and we may miss deaths not published in public obituaries. The $1 is non-refundable regardless of outcome.

Acceptable use

Use this service for personal, non-commercial curiosity. Don’t use it to harass anyone, build competing products, scrape our data, or do anything a reasonable person would find troubling. We reserve the right to terminate accounts that misuse the service, at our sole discretion, with no refund. (See: refund policy, above.)

Limitation of liability

Les Morts is provided “as is.” HollyV, LLC is not liable for missed notifications, delayed notifications, incorrect information sourced from third parties (Wikipedia, Wikidata), or any decisions you make based on information received through this service. Our maximum liability to you, for any reason, is the amount you paid us. That’s $1.

Governing law

These terms are governed by the laws of the State of Colorado. Any disputes will be resolved in Colorado courts. We hope it never comes to that. It’s $1.

Changes

We may update these terms occasionally. If we make material changes, we’ll notify you by email. Continuing to use the service after that constitutes acceptance. You’ve read longer terms for free apps. This one cost you a dollar. Feels fair.

Contact

Questions? Concerns? Philosophical objections to the premise? [email protected]